by: Jackie Hibsmann
If only we each received our direction or calling through a burning bush and the voice of God. That is not how it happens for most people and definitely not for me. In fact, in most ways, I’m still figuring it out, one step at a time. Our call story may be much quieter and less obvious, and most likely we will struggle with the same feelings Moses did: doubt, worry, insecurity and lack of trust.
For many years, I tried to live my faith through my everyday life. My life seemed ordinary, uneventful even. So living my faith happened mostly through my words and actions at work, during church, in my community, and at home. I felt like I was living without a call or direction. I didn’t have a “burning bush” moment. It was more of an internal, Holy Spirit prompting, wake-up moment. I heard TobyMac’s song “Steal My Show” and realized that all this time I had been trying to live my faith through my own power. It wasn’t working. My prayer became, “God, steal my show.” For me, this meant I was open to the movement and direction of the Holy Spirit at any time. I discovered that living my faith means allowing the Spirit to live and move through me. That is what God was calling me to do.
I wanted to yield to the Spirit, but it was scary. Who knew what God might ask me to do? I can understand why Moses was hesitant to take on his call, why he was naming excuses, and why he brought up “what ifs.” Giving up control is difficult. But God gave him the promise, “I will be with you.” And he gives that promise to each of us as well.
My confidence, trust, and faith have increased as I have watched God “steal my show” in small ways each day. Suddenly my uneventful, ordinary life is filled with opportunities to give up control and allow the Spirit to work. Sometimes it is a nudge to share an extra word of encouragement with someone, or a reminder to stop what I am busily doing and listen. As a result of allowing the Spirit to lead me, I have even had the opportunity to pray with a co-worker who was struggling with an intense, burdensome situation. Things like this never happened before, or at least I wasn’t alert to the opportunity.
After going through a particularly rough patch in my life, my prayer changed a bit to include the request, “please let some good come from this.” Before long, God answered my prayer and provided me with an opportunity to share my struggles and experience with someone. This led to a very unexpected and valuable friendship. Sometimes allowing God to “steal my show” means being openly vulnerable and willing to share parts of my life story that aren’t so pretty. This vulnerability has allowed me to connect with others in a completely new and very real way. As I watch God continue to bring people into my life with whom I can share, I know something good has come from my experience.
Last year I started the STEP program. It wasn’t that I received a call to the ministry but more like a nudge that this was the next step in my journey. So much of what I have learned, I immediately applied to my everyday life. I trust that God is using this time to prepare me for whatever the future holds.
Some of us will be called to be missionaries in faraway places, but many of us will be called to be missionaries in our normal, everyday lives. Each opportunity is important, unique, and requires yielding to his call and ultimately, placing faith and trust in God’s promise to Moses, “I will be with you.” So, God, “Steal my show.”
Jackie grew up in New Holland, Pennsylvania and currently resides in Accident, Maryland with husband Nate and two sons, Derek and Marcus. She enjoys laughing, music, painting, and hiking.